Okay, we’ve all seen this ‘based in Biblical truth’ bread, right?  The Ezekiel 4:9 cereals in the whole foods sections at stores and what not.   It sounds GREAT!  Check out verbatim what they say about it on their website:

We discovered when these six grains and legumes are sprouted and combined, an amazing thing happens. A complete protein is created that closely parallels the protein found in milk and eggs. In fact, the protein quality is so high, that it is 84.3% as efficient as the highest recognized source of protein, containing all 9 essential amino acids. There are 18 amino acids present in this unique bread – from all vegetable sources – naturally balanced in nature.

Ezekiel 4:9® Bread, made from freshly sprouted organically grown grains, is naturally flavorful and bursting with nutrients. Rich in protein, vitamins, minerals and natural fiber with no added fat. Try it served warm to release its exceptionally rich nutty flavor.

This Biblical Bread is Truly the Staff of Life

Well, good and godly.  That’s what it is!!  Yum.  Excellent. I can feel my cellulose factors dropping just from having looked at the packaging. 

Really, I have nothing against advertising the better qualities of your product and explaining the origination of your creation is just common sense in the marketing world, but  having just READ Ezekiel 4 I have a couple of thoughts:

1) Did they think that no-one would actually read Ezekiel 4 and the part about being instructed to bake it over… human excrement?  I’m not saying there is anything wrong with the rest of the specifications just because the cooking directions are gross, but… maybe they should have just left the verse off or found one that wasn’t neighbors with poop references.  That’s all I’m saying.

2) It is interesting to me that they chose to call a product “The Staff of Life” when it is modeled after something given to a prophet as a condemnation of a city.  I mean, check out how this recipe ends: “behold,(AI) I will break the supply[g] of bread in Jerusalem. They shall eat bread(AJ) by weight and with anxiety, and they shall drink water by measure and in dismay. 17I will do this that they may lack bread and water, and(AK) look at one another in dismay, and(AL) rot away because of their punishment.”  Yum.  I gots to get me some of that bread the prophet ate that was a sign of impending starvation to the people around him.  Then again, I suppose if you’re really into health food, you’re probably also into ‘diet management’ and sometimes that FEELS like starvation… that link could work.

I might be able to come up with a few more thoughts, but for now I’ll just say, I know people who eat this stuff up (no pun intended… that was literal) and think it’s great.  Yahoo.  Go to it.  I just had to ask if the makers of the product really thought through their whole “Let’s make sure EVERYONE knows EXACTLY where we got this recipe!!!  It will make them feel much better about what they are eating, that’s for sure!” outlook.

For whatever reason, their marketing scheme seems to work, so who am I to quibble.  I’m assuming it works best on people who’s only contact with Ezekiel 4 happens when they read the back of the box, but… that would account for quite a few people, I suppose.  Who reads the Old Testament today anyway?   We’re all busy quibbling about nuances in the NT to make sure our cereal box has paid attention to context.    I can understand that.

{Dear Ezekiel 4:9 creators: Please continue to market your product as is without shame.  The fact that I find it ironic does not invalidate your product or marketing ideas.  Thank you.}