She nearly 14, yet she sits lopsided at the table eating with her hands and rudely shoving her fingers in her mouth.  She uses her hands in the serving dishes, too… and doesn’t care if they are still covered with what came out of her mouth on them.  She ignores you when you speak to her.
She’s a rude eating companion.  There is no other understanding you can reach.
You are offended.   In fact, she is offensive to you.
Unless you have all the information.  Once you know that this child is functioning on an infant level mentally, that she has a muscular disorder that requires her to literally push the food down her throat, that she has the ability to observe societal niceties on the level of a 9 month old and an even lesser capacity for the emotional ploys most 9 month olds are capable of in order to charm those they may otherwise offend.
Then, perhaps, you look on her rudeness with grace.  Her eating habits haven’t changed, for she is still a rude dinner guest any way you slice it, only your reaction is different.
She is still offensive.
You are no longer offended.
Someone disrupts a funeral procession that you are in, dishonoring the memory of the person you are laying to rest that day.   How offensive.
You find out after a confrontation that the driver was rushing his passenger to the hospital {true story}.   Do you look on that event with more grace now?
Someone speaks shortly to you when you didn’t deserve that kind of treatment.  Perhaps they even accuse you of things that you had NO idea were even bothering them or maybe even things you didn’t actually do.  Then they don’t even apologize, they just go about their business as usual and want you to pretend with them that they never did a thing wrong!!!  How offensive.
Someone throws a wrench in your plans and when you ask about it, they brush it off saying, “It’s done already.  Get over it”… how offensive.
Someone let’s their dog run through your yard and terrorize your child….
Someone ignores your ‘hello’ at the store…
Someone speaks to everyone in the group except you….
Someone borrows your tools and returns them in poor condition…
Your husband leaves dirty socks on your pillow {not a true story, I wouldn’t have survived… j/k, darling!}…
Your child would rather do this project with dad… or mom… or Uncle Pete…. (whichever isn’t you)…
You refuse to acknowledge that others’ lives don’t revolve around you and that people can’t keep their distance from your touchy spots every moment of their lives…
How offensive.
Love bears all things, endures all things, believes all things… it does not rejoice in wrong-doing, but rejoices in the truth.
Call me on it if you disagree, but it sounds to me as if, while we do not have to take sinful actions lying down, we can wait for a proper time and atmosphere with which to discuss things that may or may not be sinful but ARE hurtful.  Perhaps after we’re finished being offended (because we WILL be initially)?  And when the person comes back from your pointed conversation with “I know, I was really troubled that day by……, but it was no excuse.  I’m sorry.”, you can rejoice in the truth.  That they weren’t attempting to be offensive.  They weren’t trying to turn your day on it’s ear.
There really WAS another explaination after all…. just as you hoped…
Which is something you do when you love.
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