Today.

Today I got up feeling good about our preparedness for this day which had been accomplished the night before.

Today as that feeling rapidly dissolved, I listened to my smallest children whine at me throughout the morning while listening to the older two stress about where things – whose whereabouts should be known but weren’t – actually were.

Today, I myself looked to find something I was sure was on our closet shelf, only to NOT find it and have to improvise in the midst of all the whining and “mommy, I can’t find…”’s

Today, I totally lost my patience and compassion with my younger son telling him so very empathetically, “Yes, you’re coughing.  Don’t whine at me, deal with it!” A fine parenting moment to be sure.

Today, I drove five hours round trip dropping children off to go to Grandma’s (who also drove the same five hours round trip to meet me in the middle, bless her!) took several ‘fence-related’ phone calls en route and succeeded in closing a deal with multiple parties about the time I arrived to where I could have taken care of it myself… which as far as I’m concerned is almost always the best way to take care of anything requiring organization and input.  (I’m more than happy to turn execution of said plans and any heavy lifting jobs over to someone else, however)

Today, upon resolving the fence issue and hurrying to finish some errands in town before returning home where both infant and husband are (I think) anxiously awaiting my arrival), I arrive at the tracks at the same time as a very long train.  This is not a normal occurrence for me.

Today, after the train goes by, I hurry home my head filled with things that need done and are usually done in the morning but were not this morning.

Today, while I’m out taking care of said things, I get multiple interruptions (some welcome ones, to be fair) causing unnecessary additional water logging of already inconveniently waterlogged areas.

Today, after water logging areas unnecessarily, I came inside to get the children to bed, finish up a few fence related things, and take a nap myself.

Today instead of taking a nap myself, I finished up a few fence related things and swinging the baby-who-no-longer-knows-how-to-sleep-or-is-adversely-affected-by-the-minimal-amounts-of-caffeine-I’m-consuming-to-counteract-sleep-deprivation-caused-by-the-sick-children-permeating –our- house -since Monday -LAST-or-for-some-other-reason-does-not-wish-to-sleep-soundly-enough-for-mom-to-go-to-bed…for over an hour… so she would get enough sleep in her little sleep-denying state so as to not drive me batty the rest of the afternoon.

Today, instead of not being driven batty the rest of the afternoon, I took both young children who are still whiney and just well enough to be annoying about it in the car to pick up fencing and posts. 

Today, after picking up fencing with a man who offered to help us out by procuring a trailer from a friend that would carry the 16 foot long panels since he would be in town cashing a check anyway… I asked if he would mind ALSO stopping to pick up the posts so as to avoid trying to get 25 6 ft steel posts in our van.  

Today while trying to get the posts, I requested and paid for posts that were 6 inches too short.  When I went back in to the store to correct the problem, I could not locate the receipt, nor could the person who was needed to fix the price problem available… he was busy unloading the wrong posts and loading the right ones. 

Today, while all this fence loading and post delaying is going on, my already crabby children are not getting any happier.  In fact, one of them looked me right in the eye and said, “getting grumpy!” when I left.  I would have said “me too!”, but…  I’m supposed to be the mature parent.

Today, when the fence post situation was finally resolved (LOOOONG time) I was informed that the bank the man assisting us needed to cash his check at had closed leaving man and boys without a way to get supper… long after supper time at this point. 

Today, instead of returning home feeling triumphant that we have fencing supplies to get a very necessary project done, I return home feeling like a heel even after buying man and boys some supper.

Today after returning home, I leave younger children in the car to continue grumping while we unload the mess.

Today after unloading everything, I enter the house to hear my husband express confusion over why I got the posts I did.

Today after being terribly mature about the whole misunderstanding (yeah, you know it!) I got children to bed and even the baby was SOUND asleep and in her crib and I was SO ready for bed!

Today after getting my children all to bed, I received a phone call informing me that I had sent my child to grandma’s without pants.  The first and last remaining good feeling left of the whole day (the first one, feeling happy that we were all ready ahead of time?) is gone.  This is another event that I handled with suave, debonair, and dare I say upbeat behavior.  (why are you laughing?) – just an aside, but who sends their kid without PANTS.  I can understand forgetting socks or even skimping on underwear which he has plenty of packed, but PANTS?!?! –

Today I decide everything’s okay after laying down in my bed and sighing with relief because the day is finally over and I can quit thinking about anything else until tomorrow and hey, it’s still early!  And the infant’s out cold!  This might be my first decent night’s sleep in over a week and a half.

Today at exactly that moment, I heard my infant start fussing.  Which she continued to do until about 5 minutes ago.

Today, I have the quandary of going in and covering her up (at the risk of waking her and starting the crying all over again) or not covering her up (at the risk of her waking up cold in the middle of the night and starting the crying all over again.)

Today I remember that my greatest ambition growing up was to become a hermit. 

I miss that dream.

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