My mother about a specific box which is in the hallway waiting to be unpacked:
"I have figured out what my problem is with this box." "What?" "It needs to be unpacked." (In all seriousness, I might add… there was more to her problem, BTW, it’s just that she stopped before she got to it.)

My son in the emergency room after hearing about this miraculous glue they were going to use on his head.
"We wouldn’t want to use that glue on our bums!  It would stick to our underwear!!"

My son in the ER after hearing mother say to his aunt, "I think somebody has a headache." (alluding to his placid, quiet, half-awake posture…) only to watch the alluded too party perk up just long enough to say,
"It’s me!"

My daughter, asking those of us who are… um… dispatching our broiler chickens.
"Are you choMping the chickens’ heads?"
to which many of us wanted to answer… "No, the beaks are TOO crunchy!"

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