So, the other day I took the second step into healthful smoothie making per our “aunt Gina’s” advice. Instead of adding Carnation Instant Breakfast with all that unhealthy, unnatural sugar and additives, I added cocoa powder and honey…

Nothing fake in this drink and it was an instant transformation.  It was as if a guy suddenly got a perfectly restored Trans Am…As if a Tennis player just aced every serve and returned unhittable balls (I think there’s a fancy name for that) for every receive…Or as if a mother just ended a day with perfectly behaved children.

Goodbye, Instant Breakfast,
Hello, INSTANT SMUGNESS!!! 

I found my nose rising automatically in the air and my chest swelling.  I instantly disdained other more ordinary drinks and those who drank them.  Soda?  Not I!  Chocolate milk?  NO WAY!  I HAVE A HEALTHY DRINK!!! I confessed my pride to my sister who came back with “Yeah, well I’m drinking whole milk straight from the cow!!”  I confessed my smugness (after a little bantering about the superiority of MY drink in comparison to… well.. HIS drink) to my husband

Me: “It’s amazing how superior I feel knowing that all of these ingredients are natural!  Isn’t that ridiculous?”
Him: “We could add a few ingredients and fix that!”

I just felt so darn smug.  So proud.  So ‘better-than-everyone’ good.  Oooh!  I wanted a name tag that said “This drink is HEALTHY… what’s in YOUR glass?”

Keep in mind that this feeling isn’t emanating from a person naturally oriented to health food.  I don’t eat vegetables unless my children are watching.  This is from the person who melts chocolate chips with the sole intention of mixing in cheerios and consuming them. The person who makes brownies solely for the purpose of consuming brownie batter… with.. GASP… raw eggs in it no less.

I’m not a health food nut!  But apparently I am naturally predisposed to ‘smugness’.  If it made me feel smug enough, I bet I could eat tofu!  I could become a jogger!  I could learn to like raw veggies and eat only those except for every second Tuesday!  I could become so unbearable to be around that my husband would start hanging out with girls who ate chocolate and drank pop!

Maybe I’ll just melt some chocolate chips and stir oatmeal, wheat germ and flax seed meal into them.  It’s the perfect balance: chocolate to counteract smugness/healthy-type stuff to counteract the guilt.

Perfect.  Such a good idea that I almost, but not quite, feel smug about it.

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