My children are growing in ways that I don’t entirely appreciate right now.

Orion outgrew the size four shorts that I purchased at a sale last year and is on to the two pair of size 5’s that I thought would give me a start on next year.  (size 7’s this year perhaps?)  He’s also outgrowing ‘baby toys’ and pointless pursuits.  He wants purpose!  He wants adventure!  He wants more video game and movie time!!  He wants to fight like a man…. with his sister.  He wants to tear around the house beating on his chest and throwing heavy objects and doing pull-ups on the colonnade and climbing up the outside of the staircase to prove the presence of his big muscles!!  Channeling all this masculine energy into worthwhile pursuits is difficult.  He HAS saved us from the ‘weed army’ in the garden a few times and fought back those vicious trees in our yard with sticks and followed it up by climbing higher than he can get down from.  AND he can carry full gallons of milk to the kitchen.  If only we purchased 25 gallons at a time, that might be enough to wear him out.

Lithany is growing up.  She’s started carting around dolls and being motherly.  She likes tea parties.  She wants barrettes in her hair and pretty clothes and cute shoes.  All the girly things that I usually refused to do with my nieces or had no interest in because of their ‘girly’ nature, I now find myself pressed into service for.  Oh…. and the ‘over-mothering’ of her younger siblings.  We’ve hit that milestone also.  “No, Asa, you can’t play with that toy even though it’s yours and perfectly safe, but you can have this one because I say so.”

Asa is growing.  He’s learned to climb up onto the futon in our ‘listening’ room.  (TV/stereo/games)  Now I can’t relax when he’s in there anymore.   He’s also ‘bossy’ or demanding now.  “I don’t want to sit on the concrete or the grass or your lap.  Suspend me in midair so I can crawl without touching any of those things.”  He’s grown into that stage where I get to start slapping fingers… or more accurately, legs that climb onto the dishwasher while I’m trying to load or unload it.  How could I have forgotten the… um.. joy?… or the baby-toddler transition? 

They are growing up quick as anything.  Despite my complaining, it really is fun.  THEIR growth isn’t the problem.  At least not today.

My question is: when is it MY turn to grow up??? I want to mature and become an adult instead of a petty, selfish child in an adult’s body.  When am I going to wake up in the morning anxious to serve my family.  When am I going to have patience with my children even when they are at their most irritating heights of ambition, energy and talkativity (not a real word).  When am I going to love others at least half as much as I love myself?

I want to be calm in the face of disobedience.  Rational in the face of emotional upheaval (others AND mine).  I want to be godly in the face of temptation.

When am I going to