Okay… so Saturday I was a basket case for no truly visible reason except that this has been being built up to for about a week.  Sunday, I was morose, also without reasonable cause, though at least not insane and since Sunday is our traditional "movie day" anyway and since Matt was using the vehicle to go to work, I let the children watch DVD’s… ALL day.  (Don’t worry, they watched spiritually themed DVD’s for the first half…. that counts, right?)
 
Last time we had a Sunday at home because Matt was working, the kids and I used their truth and grace memory book to study "Who Made Me? God Made Me." chatechism question in the back and started Lithany learning and Orion reviewing Matthew 22:37.  We read "Asa’s Bible" and then over lunch we also read a part from Bible Warnings (a children’s book that corresponded well to the Ecclesiastes references from our chatechism question references about not forgetting your creator).  Only AFTER naptime and a short playtime did we turn on our weekly movies.  But, see, that was a day when I was a supermom.  Yesterday, not so much.  Veggietales and the on-loan-from-my-sister "He is Risen" DVD’s are their Sunday nourishment this week.  Sad, eh?
 
So, while the kids were watching movies and Asa was smiling beautifically (bless his happy soul) from the variety of places that I put him to keep him happy and quiet, I… read my friend Lisa’s blog, read baby blues comics (their whole archive is online from 1996 – I was in heaven), tried to get gocomics to work but failed.  (Curse you dial up combined with old computer. my archenemy!) Since discovering Lisa’s blog, I’ve "saved up" my visits to it so that when I really need a good read I have plenty to read.   This time, what she had written since my last visit wasn’t enough even though the ferret entry was pretty funny, so I started at HER archive.  I think I read two months worth before I started relaxing.  (I need a book allowance, honey! And eight more bookshelves =) )  Then I played with our digital pictures and visited random picture book sites and played with ideas for books for my kids and generally did alot of nothing both on and off the computer. 
 
That evening I could smile at my kids without an effort.  This morning when they ‘wanted to cuddle’ while I was surfing…
 
(I’m up to May 2006 in Lisa’s blog this morning.  It’s a very wonderful month for me because her 5th and 9th entries sort of foretold where I would be or at least need to be this week. And her Elizabeth Elliot quote about "just doing the next thing" is going to come in handy often. Someday I’ll have to call and thank her for being so awesome, but I’m pretty sure I would try to script my call and then overanalyze where my scripting went wrong only to plummet back to the depths of despair in record time.  Maybe I’ll just wait for her to read my blog and find out that way.)
 
…so, anyway, when the little dears climbed into my lap, I wasn’t frustrated by their poking elbows or squirmy playing.  It was just nice. That’s a good place to be.  I’m still not ready for painting yet (Orion’s already asked).  Truthfully, I would like a repeat performance of Sunday, but I don’t think I can ignore them all day again no matter how badly I want that easy day…
 
because today I’m back to wishing that I were supermom.  I haven’t gone so far as to try on the costume, and I’m trying not to feel guilty that I’m not even up to sidekick level today, but at least the desire is back.  The good news is that superdad is home all day today.  That might give me enough time to shun the lazy, wimpy mommy disguise and find my spandex. 
 
 
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